“Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, & our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it’s time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, ‘cause if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies. And since a man can’t make one he has no right to tell a woman when & where to create one.”—
If you are a woman, if you’re a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are a person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world….
When you don’t have self-esteem you will hesitate before you do anything in your life … You will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote, you will hesitate to dream.
For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution and our revolution is long overdue.
If I ever happen to be, say, in an antique store and stumble upon a dusty lamp and polish it, because, well, it’s dusty, and to my surprise, pink smoke puffs from the spout and a genie pops out and grants me three wishes, this would be one for sure. I would wish that all the people who are dissatisfied with their bodies be granted immunity from all the bad feelings.
Thanks to capitalism, the importance placed on beauty has never been so manipulated. We are the guinea pigs force-fed ads that tell us how pathetic we are: that we will never be loved, happy or valuable unless we have the body, the face, the hair, even the personality that will apparently be ours, if only we buy their products.
Believe it or not, I don’t wake up every day feeling weightless. There are days when it is harder to fight the lie, but telling the truth gets easier all the time. It is about de-programming yourself and telling yourself you are a human, a living, breathing creature.
You’ve heard the saying that hate isn’t something we’re born with, its something we learn. Well, that goes for your body as well. The first step to letting go of the hatred is to stop blaming yourself for your body. Step two is accepting that not everyone will agree with you. You will have to defend yourself regularly. People will ask you constant questions about your health in an attempt to convince you that you are unhealthy. Remember, you are responsible for your self-esteem. Self-love starts with stopping the negative thoughts as soon as they begin.
I can’t stress enough that it is hard work, so don’t expect to wake up tomorrow feeling like a new woman. Instead, pat yourself on the back for your daily progress.
I was born fat and have always been, which was just fine and even healthy and cute until I turned ten or so. Puberty hit like a hurricane and brought a new set of rules. All of a sudden it was my fault I was chubby. The prefix “baby” fell away from fat, a little word that hung around and haunted me until one day, in my late teens, I decided that I was either going to spend the rest of my life trying to change myself or accept myself as I was. I chose the latter. I believe I owe all the best parts of my adulthood to embracing my imperfections and showcasing them.
Reclaiming the word fat was the most empowering step in my progress. I stopped using it for insult or degradation and instead replaced it with truth, because the truth is that I am fat, and that’s ok. So now when someone calls me fat, I agree, whereas before I would get embarrassed and emotional.
Start by wearing clothes with the intention of reclaiming your self-esteem, clothes that make you feel good, confident, sexy even, instead of clothes meant to hide your body. You can also look at your body more. A lot of us ignore our bodies. Connect with your body instead, especially when naked.
Finally, the key change that would help everyone in our situation feel a little better would be if all the people who talk so nastily about fat people would stop being so hateful and judgmental. It’s not funny, it’s not clever. It’s just ugly.
i just ordered this jacket from dorothy perkins in a size 20 before remembering that UK sizes are different. i normally take a 16/18/20 or 2x in tops…i hope its not too small :( i have whole outfits bulit around this in my mind already.